Do you like watching boobs bouncing rhythmically in slow motion? If so, I think we can guarantee that you’re a Baywatch fan. An entire generation of teenage boys learned what it meant to feel “funny in the pants” thanks to a weekly dose of watching Yasmine Bleeth and Pamela Anderson bouncing and frolicking on the beach in skin tight bathing suits. Oh it was sweet. The show may have aired during the day, but it dedicated the same amount of time to ogling the female form as the average softcore porn (it boasted the same quality of acting and writing as well). Sure, we had to put up with as many shots of David Hasselhoff’s manboobs bouncing in slow motion as we got of Pam Anderson’s, but that was just the price you had to pay.

Baywatch will forever hold a special status as a camp TV classic, but never in a million years did it seem likely the show would be translated into a movie. After all, it’s not as if audiences were attached to the characters or riveting storylines. But that hasn’t stopped Hollywood from developing a Baywatch movie a full ten years after it aired on television. Up until now the movie had been developed as a 50% action 50% boobies blockbuster, but today a writer/director has been hired to turn the movie into the raunchy comedy that it probably always should have been in the first place.

Jeremy Garelick has signed on as writer/director. At this point Garelick’s only credited work has been for the screenplay of the decent, but forgettable Vince Vaughn comedy The Break Up. However, the guy has been building up a big reputation in Hollywood for years thanks to his uncredited work punching up comedy scripts. Most recently Garelick was responsible for rewriting The Hangover with director Todd Phillips. Since that movie is officially the comedy hit of the summer, Garelick’s got some power in Hollywood and has used it to…er…write and direct a Baywatch movie. I think we can assume the guy is getting a pretty damn big paycheck for this one.

In a statement to the Variety, Garelick admitted that he’s never seen an episode of Baywatch (Liar! I’m sure he’s never seen porn or tasted alcohol either), but thought the material would offer a good opportunity to make one of those raunchy ensemble comedies that were all the rage in the 80s like Stripes and Police Academy. That’s not a bad angle for a Baywatch movie, even if hiring someone hasn’t even seen an episode of the show seems like an odd choice. Still, if a Baywatch movie comes out filled with scantily clad ladies, dirty jokes, and an inevitable Pamela Anderson cameo, I’ll be there. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but it’s true. Don’t you dare snicker at me! You know you’d see it too. Seriously, try to watch this clip and not feel nostalgic:


Big Fan Trailer Online

You don’t know it yet, but Big Fan is probably going to be one of your favourite movies of the year. It caused a big stir at Sundance and is sure to do the same with general audiences when it opens at the end of August. The film stars cult comic Patton Oswalt (he of the KFC bowl fame) as a tollbooth operator living in his mother’s basement who lives only for football. Finally given the chance to meet one of his beloved football stars, Oswalt is mistaken as a stalker and beaten unmercifully by his favourite player. He then has to decide if he wants to sue the player for messing up his life or let it go so that his team can win.

The movie walks the line between comedy and tragedy, finding laughs in the most awkward, painful, and embarrassing scenes, building to a massive final scene confrontation that is said to be reminiscent of There Will Be Blood. It also marks the directorial debut of Robert Siegel a former writer and editor from the brilliant The Onion, who made his screenwriting debut last year with The Wrestler. That film should give you an indication of the combination of comedy and pathos that Siegel strives for, only this time we should expect more laughs than tears. This one has the potential to be big. Check out the trailer for now and then check out the movie in a few weeks:


Clooney Wants To Take Over Jack Ryan

Life’s pretty good for Jack Ryan…I mean aside from being a fictional character trapped into following Tom Clancy’s every whim of course. Thus far the guy has been portrayed by three actors onscreen: Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, and Ben Affleck. Not a bad lineup of action stars, but today it looks like another actor is being added to the list and possibly the biggest star yet: Mr. George Clooney (ok, maybe he’s not bigger than Harrison Ford was at the time he made his Jack Ryan movies, but they’re at least comparable. Clooney has expressed interest in taking up the role previously tackled exclusively by the Hollywood elite and he just might be the most perfect choice yet.

Several Jack Ryan novels have yet to be translated to the screen and since the previous entries in the franchise (The Hunt For Red October, Patriot Games, Clear And Present Danger, The Sum Of All Fears) have all brought in over $100 million domestically, it only makes sense to keep making more. Paramount essentially owns a Jack Ryan money printing press that they might as well keep using.

At 50, George Clooney has hit the right age for the character and also has the right physicality, intelligence, and interest in politics necessary for the role. Sure, there’d be less winking and wisecracking than Clooney is used to, but I’m sure he can find a way to survive. Given that Clooney has expressed interest in the project, it’s pretty damn surprising that a new movie hasn’t been made yet (especially Executive Orders, in which Jack Ryan takes over as the president of the United States after the country is decimated by terrorism). Presumably it’s a money issue. We can guarantee that Clooney knows how much money he would be worth to the franchise and Paramount is probably a little wary about giving it to him. But if his interest is real, expect to see trailers for a George Clooney/Jack Ryan movie damn soon. Ocean’s 14 is probably in the cards as well.