os Angeles, on all accounts, is a land of fantasies and not all of them work or even make sense. More often than not the city of angels is a place that has to be laughed at. Today I’ll highlight the most ridiculous stories to coming out of La-la land. If this is what people know about, just imagine what crap is being hushed up.

Yogi Bear: The Movie
Movie studios are amazing at creating projects that no one in their right mind would be interested in seeing. Their favorite way of achieving this goal is by taking a once popular television cartoon and trying to update it for the big screen. Remember the live action Flintstones movies? You shouldn’t because they were garbage. How about the Scooby Doo movies starring Freddy Prince Jr. (will his star ever stop rising)? Nope? Well there’s a good reason for that. Live action cartoons can be surreal and entertaining (see this summer’s underrated Speed Racer by the Wachowski brothers), but they are normally just trite and boring advertisements for toys.

Jack Black is to star in a movie about a man who is knocked unconscious and awakens convinced that he was once a superspy

The latest beloved cartoon to be ruined by a movie is going to be Yogi Bear. That’s right the world’s most loveable pic-o-nic basket thief will be coming to big screen. But rather than creating a new animated movie, the producers are going to just plop a CGI Yogi into the real world. The script is currently being patched together by a pair of That 70s Show (ugh!) scribes and will be directed by the man who decided surfing penguins would make a great movie, Ash Brannon. Your fond childhood memories of Yogi Bear should be tarnished forever sometime in 2010, when a CGI Yogi voiced by a slumming comedy star (I’m voting for Will Ferrell) chases around a Ranger Smith (who will be played by Rob Schneider or someone equally desperate for exposure). I’ll be the one in the back row of the theater weeping and vomiting.

Hustler Weighs In On Sarah Palin
Ever since Sarah Palin was announced as John McCain’s incompetent running mate, there has been one man whom America has been anxiously awaiting to discuss the subject. That man is of course Larry Flynt. The publisher of the charming publication Hustler has always been a fan of subtle political commentary, so it was inevitable that he would have something to say about the woman who is turning the presidential campaign into some sort of twisted version of the Special Olympics.

The paraplegic pornographer has been placing ads all over the internet seeking a “Sarah Palin look-alike” to star in an X-rated film. That’s right pornographic political commentary. If this sure-to-be-sensitive film gets produced it could be just the ticket to get housewives across American on the side of the democrats. God bless you Mr. Flynt. You truly are helping the American people. It’s about time that we all started forging our political opinions while masturbating.