e're knee-deep in Toronto International Film Festival, with everybody trying to catch some of the best screen art that the world has to offer. Those people should probably avoid reading on. This is not a guide to films (you can find that here); this is a guide to the most buzzworthy TIFF parties. Of course, you'd have to pray to Jesus, God and Vishnu in order to even have a chance at getting in, but for some, that's hardly an issue.

While films are an integral part of the festival, it's not the whole reason that people flock to Toronto. For some people, the films themselves are secondary to the Hollywood experience, a time to catch a glimpse of people they've seen on TV and in magazines. Sometimes, it's not much more than an appearance, a name attached to a fancy gala after-party, but this connection, no matter how loose, draws people in droves to TIFF.

But this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Toronto clubs could use the boost generated by a big name appearance or celebrity DJ set as much as the stars need the publicity. And, for some, the parties are a way to celebrate some real cinematic achievement.

Such is the case with last Thursday's Passchendaele Post-Screening Party at The Drake Hotel. In what was the hottest tickets in town, this Canadian film got the A-list treatment as both the opening gala and the opening TIFF party. The Drake ballroom, usually reserved for bad karaoke covers of Bon Jovi, became an arena for Paul Gross and Martha Burns to strut around as if they live a bit further south.

For those who prefer Cockney to Canadian, went instead to The Boiler House in the Distillery District for the RocknRolla After Party. Guy Ritchie desperately needs another hit after the colossal disappointments that were Revolver and Swept Away and so he's gone back to the barrel and retrieved his winning formula: British guys and guns. Whether or not the film succeeds, it was good to see Guy Ritchie (albeit, Madge-less).

Friday offered a few high-profile movie after-parties and two entertainment-based galas that have little if anything to do with TIFF. Luckily, the one movie party was a monstrous one: the Burn After Reading After Party, at Spice Route. Brad Pitt is always the biggest paparazzi fodder of the fest, so it was great to see the Pittster make his rounds (He and Angelina were no-shows at many of last year's event, due to mobs).

Another big ticket was the annual Holt Renfrew Bash. It may not be as star-studded, but the people were just as hot at the GQ-Sponsored feat. Plus, stellar live music by way of New York hipsters MGMT.


Saturday night affords another chance to celebrate a good movie with the Blindness Pre-Screening Party. The international film with parts from Canada will bring together some disparate but exciting stars at Swarovski on Bloor Street. Julianne Moore, Marc Ruffalo, and Don McKellar all have very different fanbases, but they'll all be at the party.

Also tonight, Now Magazine will be throwing a Rachel Getting Married Afterparty at the Brant House. We'll see if Anne Hathaway, who finally shed her good girl image for the film, will do the same at the fancy party, where, I assume, the booze will be flowing.

Casa Loma seems like an unlikely venue for a booze-soaked party, but it will host The Other Man After Party on September 7 where Liam Neeson, and Antonio Banderas will fit in nicely with the castle scenery (largely because they have accents). But it will be the nearby W Studio that will host the party that I'm most excited for, the Zach & Miri Make a Porno After Party. Kevin Smith and Harvey Weinstein will be at the event, so expect, instead of red-carpet celeb-hounds, Star Wars loving Clerks fanboys.

Head back to Casa Loma September 8 for some more Canadian film worship, as Atom Egoyan will do some schmoozing at the Adoration After Party. As it will be a Canadian night, I expect only Molson, Canadian Club, and peameal bacon. Unfortunatly for Mr. Egoyan, he'll be competing with the consistently high-profile One X One Gala, hosted as usual by Matt Damon in the usually-decrepit and unused Maple Leaf Gardens.

If charity isn't your thing, you might want to be at Ultra Supper Club on September 12th, where Lindsay Lohan will host an A-lister ultra-event DJ'ed by her publicity stunt relationship du jour, Samantha Ronson.

Otherwise, celeb-hunters can be refused entrance to Lohan's sometimes-rival, sometimes-BFFParis Hilton's Party on September 13, where the famous airhead heiress will host a performance by her boyfriend du jour, Benji Madden, of Good Charlotte fame. I wouldn't go to this myself, but you might like shitty music, so who am I to judge?

TIFF is known as much for its parties as it is for its films, and this is hardly a comprehensive list. There's almost more parties than there are films, but if you get to any one of these events, you'll already be experiencing the festival to its full extent. If Jay Z taught me anything, it's that after the party is the after party and after that is the hotel lobby. So get out there, see some films, and get drunk with some celebrities. You'll have time to sleep it off later.