s pumpkins again begin to go under the knife en masse, the search for the best Halloween hot spot heats up. For all of your slutty-nun, ironic-drag-queen, and bed-sheet-ghost drinking and dancing needs, Martiniboys.com is here. We've sifted through the city's trick and treat locations to find the finest joints to mask make-out. Feel free to take candy from strangers, but beware of apples baring razorblades and shaving cream punch. As always, travel in a group and don't forget the importance of breathing holes.


Mansion of a Thousand Corpses…Oct. 26
You could never fit a thousand corpses in a bungalow; it would smell worse than a cat-lady's house. Split-level duplex? Still bad. Condo? Forget it. For that many bodies, you need a mansion. That way, you'd still have room to dance. Expect door prizes aplenty, myriad monsters, and a round number of cadavers. -S.T. …More info



Basement of Horrors…Oct. 27
Lotus’s Halloween party Saturday night is featuring Trevor Risk, Abasi and Andy Clockwork. And to make it better, there’s a $500 cash prize for the best costume. You’re lucky I don’t live in Vancouver, or I’d be winning that money hands down. –S.B.…More info



Drop Dead Sexy…Oct. 27
Fever Nightclub is hosting a 2-room Halloween bash, with DJ Supafly in one room and DJ Wild Turkey in the other. I’m not really sure how they come up with these crazy DJ names, but the best I’ve ever heard is DJ Tanner, courtesy of S.T. –S.B.…More info