o it's December: it's cold. There are irritating Christmas jingles everywhere. You resent the fuzzy feeling of warmth and hope that is creeping up on you, and deny its existence. You want some semblance of normal life. But what do you do in cold, cold Calgary on a cold, cold December's night? Let martiniboys.com help you out; we've searched high and low to come up with some more than viable options to keep you busy this holiday season.


Stuart McLean: The Vinyl Café Christmas @ The Southern Alberta Jubilee Auditorium, Dec. 4 – Dec. 5
Stuart McLean's Vinyl Café premiered on the CBC in 1994, and has since become a Certified Canadian Institution. The program follows Stuart's visits to the fictional "world's smallest record store" ("We may not be big, but we're small"); he weaves stories about the store's owner, Dave, and his wife, Morley, in with music by Canadian artists. Since 1998, McLean has been touring the show on stages around the country. This year's Christmas tour includes two new stories about Dave and Morey and music by The Vinyl Cafe Orchestra, featuring the singer-songwriter duo Dala, and Prairie Oyster singer Russell De Carle.




Natalie MacMaster @ Jack Singer Concert Hall, Dec. 9
Cape Breton-born Natalie MacMaster plays both traditional and more modern stuff on her fiddle. She also step dances. She's also really good looking. Yeah, I have a bit of a crush on her. MacMaster was recently awarded the Order of Canada, the youngest person to have one. It's the kind of music that reminds you of Kevin Sullivan's Road to Avonlea. This sounds like a bad thing, but it isn't. It allows you to be wistful for a Canada that most of us never knew, or had roots in; and she also makes you understand that traditional fiddle music is still thoroughly relevant.




Christmas Food and Wine Fayre @ The Highwood River Inn, Dec. 13 – Dec.14
What helps you get through the Christmas holidays better than libations and food? Take a weekend out at the Highwood River Inn, who are hosting the Christmas Food and Wine Fayre in mid-December. Over the course of the weekend you get a tour of the premises, breakfast, lunch, and a a three-course dinner with a bottle of red and white wine, a screening of the movie Sideways, stories of Chilean wine and a slideshow of Chilean wine, cooking courses, hotel lodging and of course lots and lots of drinking. - A.C.




Dragonforce @ Macewan Hall, Dec. 16
There are some metal bands that dress all in black, write songs about Satan, and take themselves way too seriously. DragonForce are the opposite. I don't think it would be unfair to call DragonForce the most ridiculous band making music today. Referring to their style of music as "extreme power metal", the English band embraces fast-paced classical-style guitar solos, high-pitched Journey-esque vocals, and lyrics about riding into battle and pillaging villages. Extreme power metal is a good enough label, but they've also been referred to as "video game metal" for their inclusion in Guitar Hero III (the hardest song in the game is "Through the Fire and Flames") and absurdly epic songs that best resemble Gears of War or The Legend of Zelda on speed. - R.T.