he Beaver was designed by backpackers for the backpacking masses” is this pub’s motto, so you can’t say you weren’t given fair warning. Not to be too hard on the Beaver but if you are over the age of twenty-five and/or have a Canadian accent other than Quebecois, you’re probably going to feel out of place here. Possibly even get suspicious looks from the bartender.

The Beaver lies downstairs from the former Global Village Backpacker’s located just south of Granville’s main drag and right across the street from the HI Hostel. Recently bought out by SameSun Backpacker’s Lodges (a network of a hostels located in several major BC ski towns), the new Vancouver chapter is the first to land its very own in-house bar and it is eager for business. Points have to be given for choosing the perfect bar name for a traveler’s lodge. It is safe to say that, if it weren’t for this flat-tailed, buck-toothed rodent known for biting off its own testicles and standing under its own falling trees, Canada as we know it wouldn’t exist. After all, the worldwide demand for beaver pelts is what drove people to explore this frozen land in the first place and none of us would be here today if it weren’t for beavers. They deserve their props.

There is, of course, another reason they likely chose the name, the same reason Beaver College in Pennsylvania recently changed it’s name to Arcadia University. As their president Bette Landman pointed out at the ceremony, the word “often elicits ridicule in the form of derogatory remarks pertaining to the vulgar reference to the female anatomy " and you can bet your last nickel management exploits this for every cheap laugh they can. “The Beaver Is Open” invites the sign on the door, ”Trim Beaver” is their selection of salads, and “I Got Lic’d at the Beaver” is trumpeted on the t-shirts  a surprisingly coy misspelling given it doesn’t really make much sense. I’ll bet management at Lick, the new dyke bar in Gastown, don’t pussy out like this with their in-house memorabilia.

But while lame beaver jokes are harmless fun, their vile “Beaver Brew” is a downright insult to our long-suffering national symbol. The bartender, who’d clearly made a study of Tom Cruise’s moves from Cocktail and was difficult to distract from his constant mug-juggling, claimed it is actually Molson’s dreaded 8.0% Black Label although I don’t remember it ever tasting this watery. Still, at just $3.75 a pint, it is clearly a crowd-pleaser with their budget traveling clientele, as is their bare bones pub grub. Other drink specials are equally cheap: jugs of tastier drafts from Granville Island Breweries are just $10.50 on Thursdays and Fridays offer $6 double hi balls.

While it may not be the sort of place you’d want to write home about or bring a date to, it certainly has price and location working in its favor. And if you’re in the mood to pick up an impoverished Australian tired of sleeping in a crowded dorm night after night, no place in town has better odds than here. - A.F.