The Glo to Sleep

By Scott Tavener

oss. Turn. Turn. Toss. You can't sleep. Go get a glass of water; crack a book; make an ill-advised phone call; do intense callisthenics; count border-ignoring sheep; drink a bottle of wine; listen to Sounds of the Rainforest; or, like Penny Lane in Almost Famous, hammer back a few too many pills. Though a couple of the above suggestions sound fun - who doesn't love callisthenics? - they're quickly becoming archaic. There is an easier, less destructive way to get to sleep.

Leave Ambien and Valium to bored househusbands and ladies who lunch; a new narcotic-free sleep aide has hit the market: the Glo to Sleep. Created and marketed by Calgary-based firm, Line 49, the Glo fuses new-age style rhetoric and ostensibly simple science to ease its users into slumber.

Embedded in a traditional-looking sleep mask, the eponymous Glo to Sleep will have you humming Bloc Party's "Blue Light" while quickly building up eye crusties. A non-medical method/apparatus, Glo slows brainwaves with a soft blue light that focuses users' attention and effectively slows their thoughts, forcing them into a form a mediation that leads to snoozing. It is the anti-Ludovico Technique. Furthermore, it does not require an outlet. Charged like any glow in the dark product, hold the mask up to a light to energize it, then strap it on and KO. You can use Glo anywhere, from your bedroom to someone else's, airplanes to conference rooms, and ballet recitals to rock concerts; the latter may not be the easiest place to fall asleep, but Glo is that effective*.

Though Glo launched in 2005 it has only recently expanded into international markets, specifically the United States. While celebrities have access to it via awards ceremony gift bags, laymen insomniacs can order it through the website. It retails for $59.95 (USD) plus shipping and, like Mr. Sandman, it will travel anywhere.

Purchase at Glo to Sleep and lay awake waiting for it to arrive.

*Why did you buy a concert ticket just to fall asleep?