Romance? Gone. Classy? Heck no. There’s nothing more disarming to the wine snob than ordering a marked-up $75 bottle of Reisling only to have it brought to the table by the maître d’ and unscrewed. Wow. That was a lot of work. Yet with technology comes change, and change is not concerned with upholding tradition. Which brings us to our weekend outing. Shock and dismay was heard throughout the dining room when I twisted off a bottle of wine; a bottle that, consequently, no one wanted to try, having assumed that twist-off means cheap means bad. Who do these people think I am?

All right, I am known as one of the “I don’t care what it is” wine drinkers, and I do generally prefer any table wine from France or Italy that comes in a giant bottle and runs about fifteen bucks. My friends make fun of me and I don’t care. I just don’t like heavy set, oaky wines with lots of flavor. That’s all. But here I was making a point; a point that even some twist-off bottles can be worth your while, so long as they don’t come in the 2-litre variety.

After convincing the gang that the wine was actually good, I suckered them into forgetting about all that cork and bull. They were loving the simplicity of being half cut and not having to deal with a corkscrew. People were twisting it everywhere I turned. It was a revolution.