I’ve done some research and I am now fairly convinced that Good Friday is the day that Jesus died. Now I’m not religious, or Christian for that matter, but for those who are, wouldn’t Christ’s death be considered a not-good thing? Shouldn’t the holiday be called Not-Good Friday? Religiosity aside, for me Good Friday is always good. Reasons: I don’t have to work, I don’t have to pray and I don’t have to search for strangely coloured eggs while toting around a wicker basket like some modern-day, 19th century, cockney flower lady. On a free day, however, I do want to do something and unlike Toronto on Christmas Day, the city isn’t entirely shut down. So if you wish to activate yourself this Friday without the obligatory fasting, fish eating, or fervent prostration, here is a guide on how to not be good on Good Friday.


Since Thursday night is bound to be a huge bar night, Friday morning is bound to be a big-time for brunch. Unfortunately, far and away, the best brunch spot in the city -- Musa is only open for dinner that evening and the second best spot, Aunties and Uncles is closed too. Third on my list, the Annex’s Grapefruit Moon is thankfully open. Hygiene problems and attitude-bearing staff aside, this tiny spot, has the best Huevos Mexicanos (scrambled eggs – not of the ester variety, feta cheese, refried beans, and guacamole) and hot sauce in the city. But get there early, unless you’re up for standing on Bathurst St. with an eclectic grouping of dirt-faced hippy babies and disgruntled feminists, staring you down for having highlights in your hair. Since the day is yours for the taking why not go on a road trip up north – to Bathurst and Wilson that is – and quell your hangover at Toronto’s best kept secret Steve’s Restaurant. This greasy spoon boasts a variety of alcohol-soaking dishes like the grand slam breakfast (two eggs, two pieces of bacon, one sausage, one piece of peameal, one pancake, homefries, and toast for $9.99), smoked salmon Benedict, and roast beef dip (lean beef, served on a baguette with sautéed onions and swiss cheese and accompanied with au jus and fries for $9.50). If the catholic guilt is tearing you up and you feel like gorging yourself on a fasting day is just a bit much, then go for the Greek salad; it’s Toronto’s best.


Hangover exorcized, the afternoon is your oyster; it’s time to drink. And since spring is in the air, the distillery district is a good place both to pound and to have a walk around. The Mill St. Brew Pub, being East Toronto's first commercial brewery to open in more than 100 years, might alleviate a little religious remorse, since guzzling at this locale means supporting local industry…nothing like a little giving back to the community on Good Friday. If that’s not excuse enough for being at the brew-pub, Mill St. is also offering, in addition to its regular fare, a few Easter features – so you can have your ham and fish after all. If the east end doesn’t suit your fancy, The Gladstone is a great place to do some daytime drinking (they make great fresh juice bellinis and nearly perfect Caesars). The multipurpose spot also has things going on all day like Talk to the Pie, an afternoon artist talk with UK native Ian White and Vancouverite Althea Thauberger that could be good company for your booze. Depending on your stamina, you could stay and check out the blues band Tatoo Kid, followed by late night entertainment courtesy of Phunk’d.


Not all of us want to drink on Good Friday but we all want to eat. So on holidays that, despite their non-secularity, threaten the city’s culinary industry with closure, there is always a culinary genre the perpetual eater-outer can count on; Asian. Despite the recent health board issues which implicated a number of Spadina eateries, I still recommend Lee Garden (which was not on the health board list) for its 28 years of serving up unique and contemporary Chinese dishes. One of their specialties is whole, steamed fresh fish of the day, so it’s a perfectly legit Good Friday option. If you want to take the anti-Christ route, try out their filet mignon with avocado, cashews and black pepper. If Chinese doesn’t do it for you, go for Japanese. Though they might not serve the Jesus fish on rice, Sado Sushi, a pricey joint on Eglinton, has some of the freshest and most beautiful sushi in town, not to mention a great variety of sake. Of particular note are the trout sashimi - thin slices of trout, lightly dressed with a citrus sauce and sprinkled with yam potato bits – and the tuna basil roll – a slightly fried tuna loin in tempura batter, mixed greens, tobiko and minced basil leaves wrapped in a soya bean sheet served and served with a house light creamy sauce.


Although Easter is not necessarily a romantic holiday, romance can be factored in. Romance leads to sex, sex leads to eggs and eggs are the symbol of Easter. So now you have an excuse to have a romantic evening out this Friday; the question is where? Kalendar, the warmly lit College St. bistro is still one of Toronto’s most romantic spots. The saucy pork medallions sautéed with apricots, sun-dried tomatoes in a brandy & walnut cream sauce and served with sweet mashed potatoes as well as the spicy ginger butter swordfish are bound to get your mojo rising. Wish, another romantic go-to, has its eclectic menu into southern Italian and changed its name to Black Skirt. The ambience remains the same and so does the wonderfully crafted martini list, so it’s still at the top of my list for lovers (to be said in the voice of Will Ferrell on the SNL skit). Share an order of spezzatino – spaghetti with veal chunks and meatballs – ala Lady and the Tramp and you’re in business. Perhaps your child could be conceived on the same day Jesus took a hit – would that be a good thing?


If you really want to nail Jesus to the cross and keep him there for good, you could really go bad this Good Friday at Wicked Nightclub because - of course - this hedonist’s hideaway is open. Grab your partner in sex and sacrilege (Friday is couples’ night with select singles), and head over to this swinging spot for an alternative Friday ritual. If you don’t have a mate or are not into swinging, you could always check out the hell-raising, metal band Hyena Dog Room at Bovine Sex Club which, in actual fact, is not a sex club at all but a live music venue. Still, the blasphemous thrill you get simply by saying you’re going there on Good Friday should be enough to summon the devil. - E.H