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elcome to the Martiniboys.com Patio Guide. It's that special time of year when offices empty with alacrity, the air has subtle hints of sunscreen, and beer guts are proudly displayed everywhere. It's a time when all drinking can and must be done on a patio (alcohol just tastes sweeter in the sun). The only challenge can be actually finding a patio worthy of your time. Well, that's where your good friends at Martiniboys come in. We've cut through the underbrush to uncover a truly superlative roundup of patios, crowded with other like-minded stylers for whom threads and rides are as salient as scoring. Somewhere in this list is
the place for you: the social haven where all the elements converge to form that brilliant alchemy of comfort and socially acceptable excessive drinking. Whether wooing a mate, sealing a deal with a client, partying with a group of friends, or bonding with that rotten snot-nosed kid, each of these spots should provide a sunny paradise that's custom designed for getting trashed.
Amber
Amber is one of those excessively private clubs that requires bribery, celebrity, or ass-kissery for admittance. Once you’ve received the nod, you’re greeted into an overly SoBe space with unadorned whitewashed walls. Sure the design isn’t great, but that’s not important. You’ll want to keep the focus on the main attraction: the seriously hot crowd. This urban-style atmosphere is crammed with people that look, feel, and taste better than anybody that you've ever seen before. It won’t take long for you to realize that you are standing on a little deck that just happens to be crowded with other like-minded stylers for whom threads and rides are as salient as scoring. -MBO. $$$$. 119 Yorkville Avenue, 416-926-9037.
Aunties & Uncles
Cute as an f-bomb button, this is
the quintessential sun-drenched, neighborhood patio. The exterior may look sketchy, but fear not, everything on the little deck is just right. This modest spot has an inclusive, esoteric allure. It's an anti-Starbucks if there ever was one. With low café-style tables and diffused lights, Aunties & Uncles induces instant ease. - B.J. $. 74 Lippincott Street, 416-324-1375.
Balzac’s Cafe
Found in the upper ventricle of the distillery district’s heart, Balzac’s Café is difficult to locate, but still manages to pull in a young crowd (now that I think of it, that’s probably why it’s so popular). Balzac’s patio boasts a very appealing view that makes for a great place to sit a chat your way through a caffeine high. Brasserie-type umbrellas keep patrons cool, contemplative, and indifferent to their expansive view of surrounding movie sets. We're betting that this landmark patio will outlive all the shiny newcomers in town. - D.E. $$$. 55 Mill Street, 416-207-1709.
The Beaconsfield
The Beaconsfield is an upscale watering hole that will take your mind off of its hulking, cross-the-street compatriot. Beaconsfield’s owners have created an inviting patio that attracts rather than intimidates. The place serves up one hell of a French martini-essentially a raspberry-spiked cocktail in a martini glass-but the crowd tends to stick with wine and beer (the clichéd drink of the upper and lower classes, respectively). The wine, food, and service are fantastic and everyone walking out for the first time will want to spread the word. The Beacs will continue age pleasantly with time. It’s time to admit that you’re sick of the Drake and move on. - MBO $$$. 1154 Queen Street West, 416-516-2550.
The Bedford
The Bedford takes everything fabulous about this old Annex location and combines it with a DIY flair and ravish cool that milks everything possible of the space. The highlight? A fun-and-cheap patio area, when in season (it’s not that great in the winter). As soon as the ice thaws, the wrap-around patio is generally packed. It’s a great place to meet a date or a big group of friends, as the multitude of picnic tables can be easily pushed together (or apart). Positioned on a street north of and parallel to Bloor, the manor-like building has a charm, and the area is just quiet enough to allow you to forget that you are in the heart of the city. – T.F. $. 36 Prince Arthur Avenue, 416-921-4600