Charlie Sheen has apologized for using the N-word on a three year-old voicemail that his always respectable ex-wife Denise Richards made public. In case you haven’t heard the tirade, the Sheenster called Richards a “fucking cunt” and a “fucking n---r.” He released a statement this week stating “I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American who was best man at my first two weddings.” Charlie Sheen will soon be joining a support group with Michael Richards, Mel Gibson, and Dog the Bounty Hunter that for some reason involves wearing sheets. Their careers will also end shortly thereafter.

The Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have started asking that reporters and interviewers stop referring to them as twins or sisters so that they can pursue solo careers. From now on I now on, I promise to call each of them bad actresses individually and will never lump them together. It’s the least I can do.

Joan Rivers was recently kicked off of a British talk show and forcibly removed from the studio when the predominantly plastic comedienne called Russell Crowe a “fucking shit” live on air. Rivers claimed that she thought the show was on a 10 second delay. Frankly her language doesn’t surprise me in any way. I'm just shocked that Rivers is still alive and popular enough to be booked on a foreign talk show.