ime to get out the bullwhip and shake out those rickets. The Wild West has returned to Calgary. It’s that special time of year when everyone in town can be spotted wearing a cowboy hat and a Texas tie, not just the depressed patrons of the local honky tonk bar. It’s a time when the phrase “rustling up chicks” isn’t necessarily a disparaging term for meeting girls. It’s the Calgary Stampede.

The main attraction of this event is fairly simple. Audiences pay for the opportunity to watch grown men struggle to cling to an angry bulls. If the ride last 8 seconds, it’s a masterful performance. I’m not sure how or why this qualifies as a sport, but I do know those bull riders and much more brave (and possibly stupider) than I am.

Founded by rope-thrower extraordinaire, Guy Weadick (ahem/apropos), the Calgary Stampede draws over a million big-hat-wearing revelers per year. A pageant of Western culture, the Stampede (b. 1912) and the accompanying Exhibition (b. 1886) boast a world-class, $100 000-prize rodeo, numerous concerts, chuckwagon races, countless bucking, joyous clown goring, a parade, and down-home pomp aplenty. If you’re a fan of country livin’ there’s guaranteed to be something that will appeal to you. Even if all you’re looking for is a big steak surrounded by mac & cheese.

This year’s Stampede runs from July 4 to July 13. If you idolize John Wayne and/or Jesus, you won’t want to miss this. -P.B.

For more info and event tickets, visit The Calgary Stampede