s pumpkins again begin to go under the knife en masse, the search for the best Halloween hot spot heats up. For all of your slutty-nun, ironic-drag-queen, and bed-sheet-ghost drinking and dancing needs, Martiniboys.com is here. We've sifted through the city's trick and treat locations to find the finest joints to mask make-out. Feel free to take candy from strangers, but beware of apples baring razorblades and shaving cream punch. As always, travel in a group and don't forget the importance of breathing holes.

Fetish and Fantasy, October 25 - October 27
You know how post-New Year gyms are temporarily rife with resolvers? Well, around Halloween neo/faux fetishists crowd the club scene. It's nice because, unlike their gym counterparts, these interlopers are usually way hotter than the standard breed. -S.T. …More info



Fahrenheit Halloween Bash, October 26
Like inverting a cross, exchanging metric for imperial has dark results. Things get even murkier when Filo and Peri and Krafty Kuts hit the decks. Expect costumes, miles, weights, and measures. -S.T. …More info



Halloween Club Crawl, October 27
Halloween is a rainbow-style union of disparate creatures. With that in mind, the Halloween Club Crawl brings together Whiskey, a Unicorn, an Amsterdam Rhino, and a Roadhouse, creating make-up smearing results. Bouncing from bar to bar on a bus is way better than losing your head and riding a horse. I hope you don't have motion sickness. -S.T. …More info