lex Rodriguez—the poster boy for overpaid athletes everywhere—has broken up with his wife Cynthia (who is now reportedly staying with Lenny Kravitz). The couple had been married for five years. This news comes shortly after widespread rumors that the slugger is currently sleeping with pop icon Madonna and amidst weeks of terrible ball-playing (not with Madonna). It must so tough to be a multi-millionaire with too many beautiful women wanting to sleep with you. I feel bad for that guy.

Howard Stern almost lost his entire staff of comedians this week. Stern’s producer Gary Dell'Abate, show regular Artie Lange and comedians Nick DiPaolo, Jim Florentine and Dave Attell had just performed a comedy show for troops in Afghanistan when they were suddenly attacked. The comedians were about to leave the base when motor fire started to descend on the area. The Stern staffers were rushed to a bunker and survived, but it was still a surreal and stressful situation for all involved. I guess the Afghan army just isn’t a big fan of offensive humor about sex and beer. Who knew?

Director Robert Rodriguez was on one of the biggest rolls in Hollywood before he hooked up with actress Rose McGowan. The man had managed to chalk up 11 directorial credits between 1995 and 2005 before meeting the actress on the set of Planet Terror(his first major flop). Since then, the B-movie auteur has been struggling to get a project starring his current flame off the ground, including a women-in-prison television series and a $70 million remake of Barbarella. However, that cold streak should officially be over because Rodriguez and McGowan have split ways (their artistic struggles reportedly played a major role in this decision). Oh well, I guess they will just have to go back to doing what they do best: Rodriguez will go back to actually making movies and McGowan will go back to fucking Marilyn Manson.