The Recession is difficult for everyone, but it's especially difficult hard on logicians. The economy drives us to drink, but we don't have the money to do so. That kind of paradox would cause even the best-built robot's head to explode (Urkelbot doesn't stand a chance). Especially in Toronto, where drinking is far from cheap (the province just raised the minimum price of two-fours by $1.60), it can be tough to find the liquid solace that we all so desperately crave. Drinking at home is always your cheapest bet (and we've already helped you out with a handy guide to Recession-friendly wine), but for us non-hermits, it's hard to beat a night out on the town. Toronto's bars and clubs can be more than a little expensive, but if you know where and when to look, you can impair your motor skills without impairing your bank account.

Monday
Your friends may look down on you for starting your week off with booze, but forget them. While they're judging you, you'll be enjoying some of the best drink deals that the week has to offer. Begin your night at the charmingly small Queen West haunt, The Wide Open for 2-for-1 drinks before midnight and animated conversation with some of the oddest characters you'll ever meet. Haunting the city's best dives is always a good way to drink on the cheap (and a fun one, if you don't mind shabby décor), but it's not the only way. Head to the ever-increasingly yuppified West Queen West and enjoy some $4 mixed drinks, free music, and a buffet spread at The Drake's Elvis Monday or $4 pints at The Gladstone and you'll see what I mean.

Tuesday
Nu Music Night is always an excellent way to catch some free up-and-coming indie bands at The Horseshoe Tavern and if you don't mind drinking Labatt 50, you can get away without spending a lot, but it should be your final destination, not your starting spot. Instead, begin at Souz Dal, the original Little Italy cocktail haven (before all the pretenders moved in), order a Soho or a Jolly Rancher Martini, and let your jaw drop at the $3.95 price tag. Get a few well-made cocktails in you (a rarity when drinking on the cheap) and begin your trek to Queen and Spadina. But before you head into the Horseshoe, stop next door at Gorilla Monsoon for a $4 Jager shot. Now you're prepared for some free live music.

Wednesday
You've made it to the middle of the week without missing a night of

You've made it to the middle of the week without missing a night of cheap drinking.

cheap drinking. What's the best way to celebrate? More cheap drinking! No free live music tonight, but you can find consolation in the excellent tunes played by the bartenders at the hip Ossington watering hole, Crooked Star, as well as the $4.50 pints. If you can't find a place to sit (that's a common problem), journey east to the Toronto institution Sneaky Dee's, where all domestic bottles are just $2.75. Dee's is one of the best places in the city for daily specials, and Wednesday's is a doozy: Kings Crown Nachos and a 60 oz pitcher of Cool or Buzz for $19.50. You haven't lived until you've downed a way-overloaded plate of Kings Crown, not a feat to be attempted alone.

Thursday
For academically frustrated university students, the weekend starts a day early. If you don't mind rubbing elbows with a drunk and rowdy crowd of 19 year olds belting out the words to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing", then you need to head straight to either Ein-Stein or O'Grady's, the two most popular U of T pubs on College Street. Ein-Stein's offers $8.50 pitchers of their house beer (which tastes like swill, but that's beside the point) before 9 pm, while O'Grady's doles out $3 domestic beers and $3 shots.

Friday
On Fridays, bars and clubs may as well reach directly into your wallet and select your largest bill. You always have to be careful when a regularly high-priced "see and be seen" type places offer a cheap drink deal, but if you're there early and don't stay for the melee, the Brant House on King Street offers a fantastic Happy Hour, with $3 domestic bottles and highballs and half price appetizers. Not as many industry types and celebrities will be around, but you'll still get a taste of one of Toronto's higher-quality establishments without paying an arm and a leg. If you must spend the night dancing on Queen Street, I would suggest the once goth-haunt, but now just slightly dark rock club Velvet Underground, where cover is free and drinks are but $2.50 before midnight.

Saturday
Another tough night, but if you employ a bit of ingenuity, you can avoid getting gouged. For instance, The Brunswick House is normally a place to be avoided at all costs (unless you enjoy obnoxious frat boys and date rape), but on Saturday nights if you get there before 11:30 pm they'll give you $5 "reverse cover". Take that fiver straight to the predictably loud and hopping Green Room across the street, and have a free drink on the Brunny. If you're of the female persuasion, the Wide Open has an all you can drink $15 ladies night special, but it tends to have a disproportionately high percentage of dudes. Fair warning.

Sunday
You've made it to the end of the week, but you can't stop there. It may be the lord's day, but, as any Brit can tell you, it's also a good day to spend in a pub. Parkdale's 50-themed Cadillac Lounge is a perfect spot to settle with a few friends. Order a "bucket" of beer, and get five bottles of Amsterdam for $20. Or, if you're feeling a bit more quirky, Ossington's Sweaty Betty's has its "Sake Sundays" event. Asian Action movies are screened all afternoon without cover and all sakes are 25% off. Not a bad way to wind down after a full week of drinking on the cheap.