Crest Health&Radiance

By Desmond Carter

beautiful smile can add an abundance of personality and charisma to your looks. After all, where would Julie Roberts be without those pearly whites of hers? Probably pulling off a real-life version of Pretty Woman. Snap! But seriously, a great smile has these qualities to it: free of fangs, devoid of unsightly yellowing and not a hint of being askew. While beauty can be in the eye of the beholder (varying degrees of toothiness, for example), no one likes dull teeth that look like they’ve been ravaged by years of coffee and nicotine. Fortunately, a new product from Crest will take years off your choppers and save you from spending a fortune on bleaching treatments at the dentist office.

The new Crest Health & Radiance product is a unique two-step program that combines a tube of fluoride toothpaste with deep cleaning strips. The toothpaste itself is meant for daily use and cleans away plaque and is infused with fluoride that helps to strengthen the enamel of the tooth by penetrating through the surface. Whiteners in the toothpaste will wash away stains caused by espresso, Merlot and dirty cigarettes. Man, aren’t you an unhealthy little cretin?

What’s more is the toothpaste contains a proprietary “secret” ingredient that allegedly removes stains while simultaneously preventing new ones from forming. Sigh – remember the days when toothpaste was just toothpaste? Now it’s apparently on the same classified level as knowledge the CIA holds, like how George W. Bush ever became president (twice!).

But enough about eight-year political blunders – let’s move on to the second step of this program. Once a week, deep cleaning whitening strips are to be worn for half-an-hour. These strips eliminate more resistant stains and create a visible whiteness. They’re chock full of hydrogen peroxide, so you’re essentially doing a dye-job on your teeth. Try not to swallow any of the gel on these strips because it does not taste good. Picture the most delicious meal you’ve ever had and then cover it with laboratory chemicals and that’s slightly more delicious still than whatever is placed on these strips.

Is it worth the two-step program? Definitely. The processes together whiten your teeth four times better than other boring old whitening toothpastes. In addition, the enamel-strengthening toothpaste means you can delay your need for dentures (thank God). It also fights tartar and cavities and all those other nasty dental issues, so your teeth will look good and feel great. The bottom line is it’s still better than flossing. And with its stain-repellent properties, you can have your cola and drink it too. Crest Health & Radiance will retail for approximately $10.99 at drug and grocery stores near you.