Martiniboys

Epic Hollister Store

Soho, NYC

May 27,2010

As you probably know if you've been anywhere near SoHo lately, there's a new flagship Hollister store in New York, and (if their own overbearing marketing campaign is to be believed) it's, like, massive, dude. Now that it's finally opened (after over a year of construction), we can now see just what an Epic Hollister Store looks like.

Like its parent company, Abercrombie & Fitch, the Hollister brand tends to attract the young and insufferable, but where Abercrombie attracts the preppies, Hollister has a few more Southern California accents. And when I say "accents", what I really mean is blatant affectations. Rather than men and women, clothes are divided between "Dudes" and "Bettys", and entire stores are scented to smell like the beach (I think they stole that idea from Cosmo Kramer).

According to its mission statement (and that thing has been everywhere), "the laidback HCo. vibe is effortlessly cool." I don't know if "effortlessly" is the right word. I would say "painstakingly" or "meticulously." Barely legal teenagers greet customers in ultra-skimpy swimwear, techno music is piped in at a level just loud enough to make conversation a chore (but who needs to talk when you can spend?), and the obnoxious "Southern California" scent wafts through every inch of the store.

Oh, and it's a BIG store - four levels and 40,000 square feet of laid-back surfer douchebag vibes, bro. In lieu of windows, 77 different flat screen TVs play a live feed of Huntington Beach, California at all times. It seems as though they're trying to make you forget you live in New York City, one of the best fashion cities in the world, and one with a boatload of better options than this insufferable ode to teenage exploitation.

Hang ten. – R.T.

600 Broadway
New York, NY
516-433-4230