ou have a song stuck in your head, and I know what it is. It's about a dance and "I know you'll get to like it if you give it a chance now." Like meat or alcohol, there's only one way to expunge an incessantly catchy song: sweat. A rail-loving sadomasochist, Montreal's latest gym joint, Locomotion, will both plague you with a song and help you exorcise it.

Located in the former CN building on William Tremblay, Locomotion (crazy movement, for all of you fake Spanish speakers) is not only a sweat-inducing palace, but also a clever wordplay (as a blurbist, I'm impressed).

I'm going to briefly probe the recesses of your dark and strange mind. When you think of old-school trains, you think of perspiring coal shovel-ers in stained tank tops (I'm not implying anything romantic or sexual, I swear). The spade-wielder is not fat, is he? Of course not. Nothing works off the flab like a good round of train working. Is that the idea behind Locomotion? No, but it does help motivate. Also motivational: state-of-the art equipment, a chic industrial space, plethoric classes, and a post-workout juice bar.

I know you want me to write "all onboard," but I'm not going to do it. Instead: swing your hips (sorry). -S.T.

2600 William Tremblay Street
Montreal, QC
514-721-1817