ith the snow gone and April showers subsided, you might be tempted to venture back outside. However, when the plebs heat up and your burn starts to peel, you will retreat back indoors. The sun is for California grapes and George Hamilton; everyone else needs more than a modicum of AC. Luckily, along with the fresh smell of garbage comes a host of fantastic film fare – and alliterations - from post-Sundance indies to big budget popcorn flicks. Celluloid decisions are getting difficult, but worry not: Martiniboys.com is here with your Summer Film Guide. Happy sitting.


The Incredible Hulk
Opening June 13, 2008
Has the world not learned from Bill Bixby, Lou Ferrigno, and Eric Bana? If you piss Bruce Banner off, shit’s going to go green pretty quick (and not in the Gore way). Yet again, Marvel Comics’ favourite gigantism/rage sufferer, the Hulk, gets a celluloid treatment. This time, Ed Norton is the scientist turned shirt-destroying street brawler. The supporting cast is deeper than the Grand Canyon, with the underutilized Liv Tyler in the girlfriend role, Tim Roth as the Villain, and Robert Downey Jr. as the cameo. Though Norton has had a lot of misfires lately, he’s capable of excellence (see American History X). He’s due for a hit. –S.T.



The Happening
Opening June 13, 2008
“You do it to yourself, you do, and that’s what really hurts.” –From “Just” by Radiohead. Sure, the trailer looks a bit like Radiohead’s most famous video, but M. Night Shyamalan’s latest has nothing to do with Brit-rock. The Happening incorporates everyone’s favourite hot-topic (i.e. the environment (blame Gaia’s favourite son, Al Gore)) into Shyamalan’s typical fantasy thriller paradigm. Marky Mark is on board and he never misses (No, I’ve never heard of Planet of the Apes); ditto for John Lequizamo (No, I’ve never heard of The Pest). The future Mrs. T., the divine Zooey Deschanel (see All the Real Girls, Winter Passing and She and Him) also stars. Incidentally, M. Ward better keep his socio-political strumming away from my girl – wow, this blurb took a creepy twist. –S.T.



When Did you Last See your Father?
Opening June 13, 2008
Of Ben Affleck, Kevin Smith once said, "[Affleck] can play anything…People are like, ‘Jaws 5,’ I'm like, ‘Affleck; Affleck plays the fucking shark.’" Though Affleck isn't in Anand Tucker's (Hilary and Jackie) adaptation of Blake Morrison's memoir, Jim Broadbent is and, like Affleck, he could play the fucking shark. Here, he plays the dying father to Colin Firth's Morrison. The two struggle with past wounds, present ambivalence, and future, well, future nothing - which is, of course, the problem. Juliet Stevenson, perfectly cast, plays Broadbent's beleaguered wife. Expect Brit whit, regret, and (impending spoiler) death. -S.T.