Simple Steps for Saturday

Remember, it all starts at home. The power of one can be incredibly surprising, so take these simple steps and join the worldwide effort to conserve energy and raise awareness:

• Turn off all your lights, TVs and stereos. Pad corners tables with foam to prevent injuries that will occur as you clumsily bump into everything.
• Unplug electronics, such as computers, TVs and microwaves. Even when not in use, these items still draw energy and contribute to the release of greenhouse gases.
• Instead of driving down the street, get your lazy ass off the couch and walk. After all, bathing suit weather is just around the corner.
• Take some public transportation for a change. You'll be surprised by how much fun it can be to sit in a puddle of stale vomit on your way to work.
• Use less hot water. Shorter showers help, and so does washing clothes in cold water. As a bonus, the latter also prevents the formation of short sleeves or pants that are on their way to becoming capris.

Stay Entertained During the Darkness

So the question is, how the hell are we supposed to entertain ourselves without electricity? The obvious answer: sex with ugly people. But seriously, there’s more to do than romp in the sack and I’m about to tell you what that includes. Considering that we live in an age where we are obsessed with e-mail, news tickers and media engorgement, many find the thought of disconnecting to be slightly Amish.

Fortunately New York residents have a few options (other than battery operated electronics of course) to prevent boredom-induced mass suicides. The best option is probably a candlelight dinner. What better way to take advantage of the situation than to turn it into natural mood lighting for a special someone? Throw together a little meal right before the event and light up the candles at the moment the power goes down.

If you have no one to share a meal with and don’t feel like a pathetic candlelight meal for one, you can always turn on a radio and enjoy some electricity-free tunes (dancing alone is much less depressing than eating alone). You could also read, go for a walk, or maybe even try talking to someone face-to-face for a change. I know it’ll be tough to converse for for a full hour without the aid of electronic media, but it’s a sacrifice worth making for the planet. At least you’ll be able to use earth hour as a conversation starter. After a while you’ll be on your own, but at least 15 minutes of talking are taken care of. And if you desperately need electronics during that hour, you always charge battery powered electronics or use self-powered generators (either the hand-crank or bicycle variety will do). It’ll be tough, but you should be able to find a way to survive.

More Than Just An Hour

The hopes of Earth Hour are to create a ripple effect and engrain environmentally-friendly habits into our everyday routines. Try to incorporate these habits into your life for longer than just Earth Hour itself. Simple things, like switching to compact fluorescent bulbs and spending even a minute less in the shower can make a huge difference. So far, the planet has been good to us, barring Hurricane Katrina, the 2004 tsunami, the Yangtze River Floods, and the Black Plague. Okay, so maybe she hasn’t been exactly nurturing, but if we continue to pillage at our current rate, things will only get worse. As the wise Hannibal Lecter told Clarice, “Quid pro quo.” Now’s the time to lend a hand to Mother Earth, so do your part Saturday night. Maybe – just maybe – we can make Al Gore cry some happy tears.