re you a fan of being intoxicated on a regular basis but have tired of the bar scene and easily attainable illegal narcotics? Then this Montreal café could very well be the place for you. Owner-operator Matthew Lipscomb has converted his one-time internet café into a hooka lounge dedicated to supplying the public with legal hallucinogens. The two substances sold in this capacity are the smoke-able saliva divinorum and a euphoric tea made from kratom leaves. What are the effects? Well, salvia is typically used in “vision quests” and provides anyone who puffs a lung full smoke with 3-5 minutes completely divorced from reality. While kratom tea provides a relaxing, euphoric mental state in small doses and some sweet, sweet hallucinations in large doses. On the weekends this café also doubles as a live music venue, which—needless to say—is, like, totally far out man.

The substances in question are currently legal under Canadian law, so any patrons of this Montreal café need not worry about receiving retribution from Johnny Law. While a stroll through the club will reveal a variety of comatose customers who can’t tell the difference between you and an 8-foot tall Tweety Bird with fangs, the effects of both substances are fairly brief and in no way conducive to violence. This is merely a safe environment to hallucinate while listening to music. It’s kind of like the basement of your friend’s house in high school. Remember that guy with the ultra-permissive ex-hippie parents? Well, the only difference between this place and his house is that you’re far less likely to awkwardly walk in on a middle-aged couple having sex on a couch in Les Mentheurs. That’s either an advantage or detriment to this location depending on your point of view. And if you’re really upset about that element lacking from this café, don’t worry its still in Montreal. Just walk though some back alleys after your smoke and you’re sure to catch an eye-full. –P.B.