olding on to the thick, black handrail while climbing up the large grey stairs of the well-known building on Saint-Laurent Street, memories of the old Swimming invade thy mind: Souvenirs of friends playing a first rock show; a relaxed birthday night during fall season where a good game of pool was all that was needed. The Swimming was a famous institution on this stretch of Saint-Laurent, amongst nightclubs crowded with clubbers year-round. The Swimming was nothing special, only different - with a huge pool lounge and many bands playing every week.

Those old days are gone and BALROOM has another agenda for the place. After investing what seems like a truck-load of money, the ex-owners of the now-closed MHÔTEL bar are ready to revive Main Street fever, luring the glamorous ladies that comes with it. The new design could be the set of J. Lo’s comeback video; when everything around you is gold, you wonder if you’re the only one that finds it tacky… or if you just missed some new trendsetting point. Stripper poles? Well, they could prove to be fun when the party is going strong and all the ladies will want to express their exquisite, acrobatic sexiness. Classy? Well, we’ll pass. But Party? Hell yes!

The funky lamps are classy (ever notice that the hot new thing for bars is to have the most ingenious new sets of lamps, the only fashionable objects that is high enough for everyone to see and impossible for drunks to destroy?), puffy booths for groups of friends, two huge bars ready to serve you. And far back, just before the toilets, a dark, cozy-lounge where a smaller bar is installed for you and less of your friends. Yes, BALROOM is very big.

But sometimes when it’s so big, it misses the big picture. I entered a very quiet Thursday night, just after the holidays, where the street outside was swarming of people ready to party with their wet, cold feet. A mix of old-school, reggae and world music was playing for a empty bar, when honestly, after setting a place in a décor like this, you can’t try to have anything else but the latest hip-hop and dance hits. It screams BLING BLING!

We drank well made Dirty martinis, and a few not-so-mastered Cosmos that tasted like water. The Jack and coke was served in an old-fashioned glass packed with ice for 6 dollars. After one sip the drink was done and the Jack, unnoticed.