hen Canadians hear the words "Grand" and "Slam" sandwiched into a single phrase, we think of a breakfast meal served at a particular breakfast restaurant chain. It's an American chain, but Americans have the U.S. Open, so they care less about breakfast nomenclature. In a more extreme case, Australians care not for first-meal terminology. However, they adore their Grand Slam: the Australian Open.

Since 1905, the Australian Open has titillated net-fans. The first of four Grand Slams, the Aus sets the tone for the tennis season. 2008's edition has thus far played out like a Sports Movie dream, with favourites like Justine Henin and Serena Williams falling by the wayside, the former vanquished by grunting beauty and my future wife, Maria Sharapova (it's the grunting that makes me creepy).

Over the course of thirteen ball-packed days more than five-hundred thousand tennis adorers will take in the court action. The winners will take home $1,370,000 Australian dollars, which will easily cover several barbies and myriad shrimp (aka prawn). Have fun and slam grand. -S.T.