o quote the most transcendent and inspiring literary genius of our time “if you ain't got no money take yo'broke ass home”. Suite Lounge, sister club to Snatch rock and roll club, realizes Fergie’s “Glamorous” lyrical vision to a tee. Everything about the club just oozes South Beach sensibility, especially the décor itself, eclectic and ultra-chic, with elements of Asian, European, and American style all amalgamated into a sexed-up Miami soup of gaudy glamour.

This is one of Miami’s most exclusive hotspots, so if you’re not on the guest list, there are only a few options available to you to get in. The first plan of attack is to either surround yourself with bleached-blonde near-naked Miami hotties, or be a bleached-blonde nearly-naked Miami hottie. If that doesn’t work for you, then think about taking out a bank loan to furnish your American Express card, because you’ll be needing it. Start by slipping the bouncer a Ben Franklin, or a few Andrew Jacksons, and keep them close at hand for when you’re inside. You won’t find many champagne bottles under the $300 mark, and other alcohol doesn’t come much cheaper.

If both those options fall flat, there’s still one more way to get in, and that’s to have a famous name. When Jessica Alba, Tom Cruise, or Mischa Barton come to town, this is where they go to get the VIP treatment. And if you are either famous or rich enough to be classified as ‘very important’, then they’ll treat definitely treat you right. The private backroom VIP area includes a giant two-way mirror through which to look down upon the riff-raff commoners without them gawking back. Even Paris Hilton has been spotted at Suite Lounge. And if Paris Hilton has been there, that should give you some indication of what kind of place it is: elite, modish, and a little bit trashy.