othing screams South Beach quite like an eclectic outdoor French Bistro. Miami is a city renowned for tackiness, pomp and opulence (see Scarface for further details). There’s no such thing as local cuisine here, just the bastardization of the food from other distinct cultures (ah…the U.S. melting pot. There’s really nothing else like it).

Which leads us to La Goulue Christian Delouvrier, a bistro with an outdoor patio that’s lined with palm trees…just like rural France. The space is even located amongst a sea of overpriced fashion outlets, so you can make it the capping event of a day dedicated to consumerism.

This casual yet elegant dining spot serves up classic Bistro fare that’s surprisingly scrumptious. Titular chef Christian Delouvrier has been cranking out French food for three decades now, so he knows what he’s doing. The man specializes in using classic French cooking techniques with incredibly fresh raw materials. The dishes are simple, but the flavours are complex.

You can soak up the Miami sun while enjoying classic dishes like moules frites, escargot in puff pastry, and a variety of seasonal seafood dishes that Delouvrier whips up using some of the local catches. And if you’re really brave, you can get them to bring out the cheese tray and enjoy the delightful aroma of a 100-lb wheel of Laguiole baking in the afternoon sun.

With it being a French restaurant, you can also expect an extensive wine list and waiters who are more than willing to keep filling your glass. With a belly full of wine and fine French food, the Miami night scene will be your oyster (or you’ll pass out in the middle of the afternoon. That tryptophan can be a bitch). What better way to celebrate the lack of local culture in Miami than by dedicating a meal to a culture from across the Ocean? It’ll provide an afternoon that you’ll never forget…provided that you don’t drink too much wine. -P.B.