e stumbled farther into the alley, steadying himself against the brick wall to his right. As his stomach began to stir and his throat prepared for onslaught, he instinctively thought of the package of gum in his right pocket. Are there any pieces left? He could not remember. He surveyed his surroundings, estimating potential splash-back as he bent forward, worried about his once-shiny shoes. In a rush and a glorious heave, he loosed the burning gin and pub food from his gut.

'Jenny will know I've been drinking again, how can I hide it?' he thought as he swabbed his mouth with a used tissue. Sure-footed once more, he emerged from the alley on to the main street. And there she stood, arms crossed at her chest, her head poised and ready to shake disapprovingly.

She began quietly, staring him straight in the forehead as he averted his eyes, 'were you vomiting in that alley, sweetheart?'
'No, I swear'
'You did not barf?'
'I did not barf.'
'Lie.'